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My Hijab Story and What Hijab Means To Me


(In the name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful)

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.(May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you all)

I think that without doubt, hijab can be considered a controversial issue, and that's even just the name never mind the physicality. Some see hijab as being just the head covering, whilst others know that it is much more than that. Hijab is everything, hijab is beauty. Hijab is one of the main things that stood out to me when I started to look into Islam. When I talk of hijab, I talk of the modesty that most Muslim women maintain. Modesty in Islam is a beautiful thing and as sisters we are proudly defined by our modesty. Before becoming Muslim, I was quite self-conscious about showing too much anyway, even just my arms for some odd reason. So I wouldn't say that the way in which I dressed was awfully inappropriate, but of course it differed to how I started to dress after being guided to the right path. Beforehand, I lived in black skinny jeans, the skinnier the better. Now I'm in love with abayas, and hey, it means that getting dressed only takes 10 minutes; throw on an abaya and hijab and you're practically done haha. 

Source: Quran.com
So when did I start wearing a headscarf? I was always trying on the headscarf at home before I plucked up the courage to wear it in public. At that time let's just say I hardly knew how to put one on properly so looking back at those photos is somewhat embarrassing. I already admired the headscarf and looked up to those who wore it, and even though admittedly I used to take some pride in my hair I much preferred the thought of wearing hijab. I reached a stage where when I would go outside, I would see my reflection in mirrors or windows and honestly just think to myself "why am I showing my hair?" - it's not that that's what I think that when I see other girls, it was just something that I personally felt the need to change about myself due to my new found beliefs. So on Friday morning, 27th February I was getting dressed for college, once fully ready, I did the whole full length mirror check to make sure that everything looked okay, except it didn't. I had already bought some hijabs from HK Scarves on Instagram and they were just laying there in my draw. I spent no time contemplating and just rushed putting on one of the scarves before leaving for my bus. It felt strange but equally liberating as I walked down the street that day and I was happy whenever I caught sight of my reflection again. Alhamdulillah, it was a great day. Everybody in college was so positive, friends insisted on taking photos and each time a different friend would see me I was blessed to be welcomed by their excited smiles and hugs and "Masha'Allah"'s or "omg Shelby you did it!" from those that knew of my love for it beforehand. I'm grateful that I had a really great, supportive bunch of people at college with me whom made a day that is so hard for many, be such a wonderful one for myself. After that, I knew straight away that I would never be able to take the hijab off. Not literally of course, that one hijab wasn't glued to my head...

What's amazing is that at the time I had a Muslim friend that never used to wear hijab due to confidence issues and what not. I had been trying to encourage her to wear it a lot, telling her of its importance whilst of course simultaneously respecting that she must have just had things getting in the way. Whatever it was that was stopping her, Subhan'Allah that went away on the day that I came to college in hijab much to her surprise. Mid day we went to the bathroom and she decided to use the scarf that she was wearing around her neck as hijab. From that day - she hasn't ever gone back to not wearing the hijab and I'm so happy for her and so happy that I was able to be that last push and the little bit of support/inspiration that she needed to take such an important step. I pray that Allah s.w.t continues to guide this sister, Insha'Allah. 


The sweetest message from the sister mentioned above. 

If you've read the post about my Shahada then you'll realise that this means that I was already wearing the hijab for at least 7 weeks before I even became Muslim. This surely shows what modesty in Islam meant to me already early on. Alhamdulillah due to my admiration for the hijab, knowing that it's not just about wearing a headscarf, I was able to quickly adapt to starting to wear long skirts and generally more modest clothing as part of my hijab - so as not to disrespect it by allowing it to become a process of simply matching a headscarf with any tight fitted Western clothing. Not only is it important to know that 'hijab' is the full modest covering of a Muslim woman - but hijab also goes beyond physical characteristics. Hijab is the way we speak, the way we act, the way we not only represent ourselves but we represent one another as a unified (proudly and happily covered) community.  People wrongly label the hijab, labelling us as oppressed or worse which I won't go into, but allow me (to not be the first) to tell you that our hijab defines us. I've known many sisters to say that their hijab is a part of them and I feel exactly the same. I could never imagine leaving my home without wearing the full coverage now, hijab and abaya. Hijab is my beauty and I wouldn't be who I am today without it. Hijab could never be defined to us simply as a piece of cloth that covers our hair... 

I hope that this post has given an insight into my journey with hijab, did it help that I said the word maybe 100 times throughout? Are you brainwashed yet? My Nan would say so, which leads me to my next post on Family Reactions insha'Allah.

Eltemase dua. 

اللّهُمّ صَلّ عَلَى مُحَمّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمّدٍ

Comments

  1. Shelby . Its najihah here. I know we werent really close in high school but i dont know why. when i got back to my country ..When i miss england. When i miss my friends like kloey lizzie and them. I always think of u. Then a couple of years later. I followed u on instagram then i got to know that u reverted to islam. I felt so happy for u. I wanted to be there with u and personally hug u and hear ur stories. I miss u and them. But so sad that i lost contact with them except kloey.
    Btw , i love ur posts .it is so inspirational. It makes me want to be better.. to be more of a muslim than i am now. ur so lucky and blessed. I always pray to be able to meet u. I hope that one day Allah s.w.t gives me the chance to meet u. And i also always pray that kloey will be able to see the light , the path like u did. Because i love her so much. And i want her to feel more at peace. I hope u can pray for her too.
    Do post more of islam and inspirational things .
    Ps. I read about the high school post u wrote. it brought back good and bad memories. Haha and i was such a goof back then. Im so embarassed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Salaam Najihah sorry for the late reply. Alhamdulillah Jazakallah Khair for your kind words, hopefully you can always keep up to date with my stories on here! It's so humbling for you to say that I inspire you, and just you saying that you want to be better is you taking a step closer to Allah swt, now he will take 10 steps closer to you. We can only pray that out loved ones are guided on to the right path :)

      I do hope to keep posting and inspiring! High School holds plenty of memories haha, stay blessed

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